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Editor, The North Country Gazette:
We tell our children how to be safe from stranger abuse and that they
can come to us for help if someone is touching them in any way that
makes them feel uncomfortable. Many mothers like myself, had gone
through the proper steps when we and/or our children were being abused
by a family member. We were assured that we would be protected and we
trusted the judges to do what is legal, moral and ethical. How many
of us have been betrayed as this young girl was? How many of our
children were then placed in the sole custody of the very person who
hurt and abused them?
Minister beat girl with stick, cops say
Church members mum on pastor
This is a national disgrace and the public needs to be educated on why
it is happening. Where do these judges get the idea to award custody
of abused children with their perpetrators? Look no further than the
late PAS founder, Richard A Gardner. Gardner had written many
articles and books on minimizing the effects of child abuse and
pedophilia. His belief was that it was not as important as maintaining
a father-child relationship, and in many cases was beneficial to all
parties!
There is a problem with this rationale, such as in getting judicial
officers to disregard a measure of sexual abuse in a familial
relationship is the first step in getting them to minimize the damage
done in stranger abuse. When child abusers have no fear of the moral
ramifications, prosecution or punishment, they will not resist the
urge to take and use our children for their own sick pleasure and
discard them as they would trash. Many of these same abusers will
justify their crimes against children by stating that they really love
children and just show it in an intimate manner. The truth is that
this isn't a love for the child, this is narcissism, a self centered
love and the child is simply a object to be used.
I have been following this case of a girl who was sexually abused by a
family member (I don't know their relationship) and was taken to her
church for regular beating with a stick for disclosing the abuse and
asking for help. This reminds me of what Gardner once said about what
should happen if a child comes to her mother with information that her
father had been molesting her. Gardner said the child should be told
to shut up and threatened with a beating if she ever brought it up
again. (not a direct quote) Maybe this pastor who beat the 12 year old church member has read some of Gardner's books?
All I can say is that I am grateful that this girl wasn't placed in
the custody of her molester. 5-19-06
Valerie Nixon
Marin County, CA
© 2005 North
Country Gazette
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