Originally Posted - June 24, 2006

return home

Slats Grobnik left Sam's Tavern about two months ago and hasn't been seen in public since. Slats dropped by his favorite tavern for a quick beer after being released from an extended 30 day stay at a Denver gulag at the request of the U.S. Gestapo.

After the gulag experience, he realized America had fallen over the cliff and there was no crawling back. He realized the ship had sunk, the captain was 'drunk-nuts' and loonies were running naked in the White House using the Constitution for toilet paper.

So Slats retired to his red brick Chicago bungalow, wondering whether to drink his life away watching NBA basketball or do something positive.

If America was normal, he would have chosen the former. But since things were going haywire, he chose the later.

So Slats, the most unlikely of candidates to awaken the masses, set out to enlighten his fallen, brainwashed brothers and sisters. And by no means was it an easy task, as he spent the first two weeks at home finishing up a case of Old Style, waiting patiently for the Miami Heat and Shaq to win the NBA title.

With the series over in six, Slats knew he had till next year before the playoffs started to get the job done so he spent the next two weeks reading "Don Quixote" and several other inspirational books in order to prepare his plan.

He also read about all the patriots on the war path in America, rallying here and riding motorcycles there, hoping to end the spiral of unstoppable horror being propagated in Washington. He read about the 9/11 truth symposiums, thinking how he went to many JFK rallies in the 70s and 80s, finally opting to stay home after becoming tired of listening to speaker after speaker rant on and on while justice was never being served.

He then continued reading about all the political, scientific and medical experts, fighting fascism with big words and high-fangled theories of freedom and justice. Slats had also grown tired of big words, as it usually indicated the 'fix was in' once the hot air cleared off the table.

He then found an article about Frosty Wooldridge riding his motorcycle cross country for freedom, which he rather liked, but decided against a similar course of action since he never had ridden a motorcycle.

He thought about Frosty riding and it made him feel good, as it made him think about how the true leaders of freedom and justice usually came from unusual places, and it usually coming from the common folk, not from the so-called experts or professional speakers who end up boring the people to death due to rather large and inflated egos.

Although Slats had big ideas too, especially when he sat alone on his couch while his Great Dane, Charlie, was sleeping at his feet, this time he felt almost helpless, thinking this time it might be better to close his eyes for good.

In fact, one evening Slats closed his eyes, dreaming of a better day, dreaming how the killing had ended and how the American population finally awoke from a deep slumbering sleep to take back their country.

When he finally awoke, he thought for a brief moment he had died and gone to heaven. But quickly he came to his senses, saying out loud as Charlie looked at him like he was crazy:

"I have the plan! It won't be easy but nothing hard ever is and good always triumphs over evil and it starts with each person making a commitment to the truth and never wavering or giving in to the evil enemy within our country."

And for the next several days Slats wrote down his plan of action, which was quite intense, complicated and tedious, a plan involving going to at least three continents.

But since every long journey begins with one small step, he decided to concentrate on writing his "Call to Action" or his feeble attempt for one Average American to do one outstanding thing in his life before passing on to a better place.

But not being a writer or having any professional experience with the written word, Slats mumbled to himself, trying desperately to be organized yet inciteful:

"I'll make it short and sweet. I'll ask people to repeat the words over and over, as that usually works. I'll make the words become a credo of peace for the entire country. I'll ask them to say it for the first time at 1:03 pm Monday, June 26. Why 1:03 I don't know? But I hope millions will say it together that day and then millions more saying the same words over and over again every single day."

It sounded crazy, he thought, as he prepared pen and paper, but then crazier things have worked in a pinch.

So in the quiet of the night, Slats began writing his words similar to Tom Paine's "Common Sense" trying to rally the troops around the Revolutionary War. But Slats message was much, much shorter than Paine's effort since he thought most people don't read much anymore and if it was good, maybe some radio host or newspaper would give it "sound bite" attention since, after all, that's how Americans are used to reading or listening anyway.

So it was written:

A Quiet Revolution
By Slats Grobnik

A quiet revolution is taking place as we speak, as we drive down the lonely highway of life and as we ponder the ultimate fate of America in the quiet solitude of our homes.

This silent revolution, hinging on understanding not violence, is quite effective. It's quite effective since it's a peaceful revolution based deep within the soul of good men, as one by one each man, women and child chooses for himself and without the influence of the Brotherhood, to no longer be ruled by the elite or be pushed around by an American government gone drunk with power.

And within this quiet revolution, the lid has finally come off the pickle barrel of corruption, exposing the true perpetrators who are none other than the Vatican through the Jesuit Order, working their evil magic through their minions in government and business.

And let this humble collection of words be a resounding call for all Americans far and wide to rid our country of the evil Jesuits and those in government and business who work on their behalf.

And let these humble collection of words be a resounding call for all Americans far and wide to become educated, read history, understand the Bible and join their souls, spirits and hearts together, starting Monday, June 26 at exactly 1:03 pm central with everyone together reciting together the following words:

I, as a God-loving American, no longer pledge allegiance to the corrupt government of the United States, demanding their immediate removal

I, as a God-loving American, no longer knowingly or unknowingly pledge allegiance to the Vatican through the Jesuit Order, demanding their immediate expulsion from the United States.

I, as a God-loving American, no longer will allow the Jesuits and the United States government to deceptively steal my liberty, freedom, mind, body and soul.

I, as a God-loving American, promise never to back down from the forces of evil, including the United States government, the Vatican, the Jesuits and all other minions of evil advancing their evil ways.

I, as a God-loving America, would rather die than live under this tyranny.

I, as a God-loving American, pledge from this day forward to expose and expel the real spiritual controllers of the New World Order and their faithful temporal workers destroying America.

I, as a God-loving American, ask God to guide and direct the hands of all good men while protecting them from evil. Amen.


6-24-06

© 2006 North Country Gazette